
I am going to repeat that, because it is the cause of so many miscommunications, frustrations and disappointments in life.
Having needs does not make you needy.
It sounds perverse, surely if we need things then we are needy? No. We are human.
As soon as we acknowledge and own our needs, we move from a place of helplessness to one of power. We move from subconsciously trying to get others to meet our needs – then feeling frustrated if they don’t – to creating circumstances where our needs are met.
Our needs can range from a daily hug to half an hour’s peace when you return from work, and from needing your partner to listen to you when you are considering a new haircut to going out with your girlfriends every fortnight.
Furthermore, there are times in our life when our needs cannot be met by Plan A. For example, if we are single the daily hug will not come from our partner. However, when we own our needs, we move on to Plan B. We buy a pet to share a cuddle with, invite our best friend to move into our spare room to share wine, chocolate and SATC episodes, or begin online dating to hasten the return to Plan A!
The crucial distinction is that once we know our needs and recognise their place in our life, we can take steps to communicate them and ensure they are met.
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Name: Rachel Willis
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Website: http://www.rachel-willis.co.uk
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