Get together...
Join our forums...
Fire your imagination...
Tell your friends...
Indulge yourself...
Log-in / Register
Take time out and find some inspiration
Finding your freedom
Okay, so I am single again. How did it happen when I thought this time I would make it work.?
Well how stupid is that, there are two people in a relationship and unfortunately you can’t guarantee that what they say is what they mean or what’s in their hearts. So 18 months later it was suggested that I try dating again…
What’s dating? I can vaguely recall what sex is and the two have something to do with the opposite sex, in my case anyway, and I really wasn’t that keen on men.
I appreciate there are some fringe benefits to having one in your life, but experience had proved that they were outweighed by the downside, which could be considerable. Anyway, per chance, I got one those spam emails about a UK dating site which I signed up to. That was interesting and a learnt a lot.
Tip number 1, take the profiles with a pinch of salt, and that includes the photographs. Every guy who contacted me resided, allegedly in the United States. Then on probing and some sob stories, turns out that they actually had some connection to Africa, usually Nigeria. And money eventually seeped into the conversation, their desire to have some of mine!!
I took a few weeks off and dating was taken from my agenda, but a close friend told me not to give up, the right man maybe just round the corner. One thing I am not is someone who quits easily, or should that be replaced with being very stubborn.
So I tried another site which judging by its name suited my situation as a single mum as it was aimed, I thought, at people in a similar circumstances. Guess what? Yep I was wrong yet again.
I spent lots of time and effort writing a profile spelling out what I was about, my interests and sort of relationship/man I was seeking, and I swear every guy that got in touch had issues with reading. Maybe they couldn’t read. I appreciate that men are very visual beings but surely commonsense plays a part somewhere in their psyche. Look in the mirror and ask yourself “Will this woman be interested in me?
And why have some of them got an obsession with getting you to activate your webcam? And when you say “No” why is it that some men don’t understand what the word “No” means. Maybe we should explain at school that “No” doesn’t mean ”Keep going on an she’ll get fed up and change her mind” or “Let’s play this word game but eventually I will get my way”.
But persist I did, just in case I was being hard on the little darlings, and I dated a few…
There I go again ignoring my intuition at my peril. They all couldn’t believe their luck finding a woman like me on the internet, pity they didn’t show their gratitude and appreciation with more honesty and by behaving as they said they would. It became pretty clear that the men on the site who contacted me fall into one of two categories players and desperados. As I am neither I withdrew myself from this virtual theatre to leave it to others to act their way through the site’s other players.
So what have I learnt about myself.
Firstly, that I am simply not prepared to accept second best so as to be in a relationship. I am worth more than that, besides one can be lonely in a relationship.
Secondly, I have peace of mind for the first time in my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful.
So now I am going to continue to enjoy my life, live it to the full and if “Mr Right for Me” comes along I’ll know it instinctively and will go with the flow.
Life is about living not existing, about balance, appreciating the good things, learning from the not so good, not forsaking one aspect of your life to the detriment of the other positive things.
In short value yourself because if you don’t how can you expect others to value you.
About the author
Name: Marcia Ore
Website: http://www.more-2-life.com
Share |
Think you can inspire thought and discussion? If you've got an article which you would like to submit just contact us.