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Take time out and find some inspiration

What costs little or nothing, makes people feel good and takes little time to do? Sex!

The answer is appreciation. A simple ‘thank you’, a greetings card, compliment or thoughtful gesture costs little and gives much. Appreciation is simple to do but easy to forget in our time-pressured impatient world.

Being acknowledged makes people feel good, noticed and not invisible or insignificant. With life getting busier and busier and faster and faster, there is a danger that appreciation is not given which is really missing a trick, especially with research showing that people are feeling less happy than in previous generations and the importance of increasing productivity at work, with more output needed from less people.

Gifts are just one type of appreciation. Giving a gift doesn’t have to cost alot of money, it’s the thought that counts and remember to give something that they will like, not something that you would like!

What stops people from showing appreciation?

Showing appreciation is a simple concept, so why is it that it doesn’t happen that often?

• People believe that it’s a bit cheesy/corny/’soft’
• Some people are very self absorbed or even downright selfish and don’t even notice what others do for them
• Some people believe in a ‘stick’ rather than a ‘carrot’ – that fear is a better motivator than appreciation
• Lack of time – giving appreciation isn’t an essential; it’s not on the task list and can easily be forgotten. Many a marriage has broken down because of its absence!
• Managers can worry that if they build their staff up too much, it will be difficult to give them negative feedback in future or that they will become arrogant
• Fear can exist that giving praise will mean that staff expect a pay rise or promotion, when there is no money or promotions available
• Some company cultures are fear based, and appreciation just isn’t the way things are done. In fact “The Times annual Best 100 Companies to work for” list shows strong bottom line benefits of treating people well.
• Some people didn’t get appreciation from their parents/boss so don’t know how to give it to others. It’s almost as though it’s not on their radar
• Giving criticism not appreciation gives a false sense of superiority and artificial boost to a fragile selfesteem

What are the benefits of showing appreciation?

• It costs little or nothing and gives you back reward
• It makes the recipient feel good and you feel good for giving it
• “Thank you’s” are infectious!
• Research shows that a greeting card is one of the best marketing tools there is. No need for expensive advertising etc
• It’s good manners to be appreciative.
• Appreciation is very affirming for people and if you do it to them, they are more likely to do it to someone else, maybe you
• Children need acknowledgment and often will play up to get your attention when giving them 2 mins of attention will make them feel happy so they play and you can then have time for you
• Giving appreciation to staff at work increases their motivation and satisfaction so that they choose to work harder and do more than they are obligated to, increasing productivity and performance
• Appreciation increases self-esteem and confidence, increasing the likelihood of an individual maximising their potential
• Appreciation is very affirming and expansive, whereas criticism makes people shrink
• It could make someone’s day
• It increases the likelihood of receiving attentive service e.g. in restaurants. Would you rather be served by someone who scowls at you or someone who smiles?
• If unexpected, it’s especially powerful
• It makes the world, office and home a better place

Top 10 tips to be appreciative

1. Be very specific when giving praise to others. This makes it more meaningful e.g., I really liked the way that despite your busy day, you took time out to notice the candidate looking lost and stopped to ask if they needed help to find their interview room ….
2. Only give praise if it’s genuine and heartfelt, not if you have an ‘agenda’ and want something back from being nice
3. Make “Thank you” a regular habit, especially with people serving you e.g. waitresses etc
4. Show your appreciation with your eye contact and body language as well as the words you use
5. Give praise/show appreciation as soon after the event as possible, so it’s fresh in your mind and theirs
6. Showing appreciation doesn’t have to cost. A simple thank you or a greeting card works wonders
7. If doing a performance appraisal, ensure you make time to talk about positive things with examples as well as development opportunities
8. Remember to appreciate yourself too. Make time each week to reflect on achievements and what you did well. Often people are very self critical and beat themselves up, focusing on the negative, when it’s a good idea to work out what is working well and how to have more of this
9. Create an appreciation file; keep e mails, cards and mementos and look at them when you need a boost
10. Appreciate being alive – don’t take it for granted

Be more conscious of giving appreciation – it’s simple to do and a habit worth developing. Research also shows that a simple ‘thank you’ is more important reward to many than money. Priceless.

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